BREAKING: Collector Sells Rare Honus Wagner Card to Fund Trip to Mars

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Elon Musk offered one small step for mankind, but this collector is taking one giant leap for cardboardkind.

 HOUSTON — In a bold fusion of space-age ambition and century-old cardboard, 46-year-old collector
Darren Blunkett of Boise, Idaho has reportedly sold his ultra-rare T206 Honus Wagner baseball card in order to fund a one-way ticket on SpaceX’s next manned mission to Mars.

“This card's been to national conventions, safety deposit boxes, and even a hurricane bunker,” Blunkett said at a press conference held inside his local card shop. “But it’s time for it to fulfill its true destiny: paying for me to become the first guy to rip wax on another planet.”

One Small Flip for Man

The card, famously known as the Mona Lisa of cardboard, recently fetched $7.2 million in a private transaction reportedly brokered by Ken Goldin and livestreamed on TikTok with six ring lights and seventeen hashtags. The buyer, who remains anonymous but is rumored to be a Saudi prince simply stated, “I wanted it for my yacht.”

Blunkett, meanwhile, has used the funds to buy a premium seat on Elon Musk’s 2027 Mars mission—also known as the SpaceX Bowman Chrome Refractor Launch. The spacecraft will include oxygen, freeze-dried ice cream, and most importantly, “a breaker mat and several unopened 1991 Fleer boxes to keep morale low.”

Space, the Final Card Show

NASA officials were initially skeptical of adding a baseball card collector to their mission roster. “We typically look for engineers, scientists, and people who don’t think printing errors increase a card’s value,” said Flight Director Karen Mulligan. “But Darren insisted he had ‘space hands’ ideal for opening packs in zero gravity.”

According to Blunkett, he plans to be the first person to grade cards in space. “PSA wouldn’t return my calls, but I’ve got a BGS slab rigged to the rover,” he explained. “I’m going to call it Intergalactic Surface Grading™. Cards graded in Martian dust will carry a premium, no question.”

Trading Gravity for Grails

When asked if he had any regrets trading his cardboard grail for a shot at cosmic history, Blunkett was philosophical.

“Some people want to leave a legacy with money or children,” he said. “I want to leave behind a crater shaped like a top loader and a Martian flag made out of 1990 Donruss commons.”

Musk, when asked for comment, simply tweeted “Cardboard to Mars 🚀🔥 #WagnerInOrbit” followed by a GIF of a Prizm parallel spinning through the cosmos.

Coming Next: “Mars Chrome”

Topps has already announced a Topps MarsNOW! card featuring Blunkett stepping off the SpaceX lander holding a Beckett Monthly from 2003. Early sales projections indicate it will outsell most modern flagship rookies, though collectors remain divided.

“Cool story, but unless it’s a SP numbered /5 with a dirt relic from the Martian surface, I’m not interested,” said one skeptical investor on Blowout Forums.

As for Blunkett, he’s ready for liftoff. “They said no one would ever top the Wagner sale,” he said, strapping himself into the shuttle with a gravity-proof card binder. “But just wait ‘til they see the zero-gravity box break I’m livestreaming from orbit. First Martian Mojo pull? That’s history.”

Stay tuned for Topps’ 2028 set: “Heritage Mars – Featuring On-Card Autographs From the First Human To Eat a Blaster Box.”

 

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