Signed Michael Jordan Rookie Card Sells for $2.5 Million; Buyer Hopes It Comes with Air Jordans and Partial Ownership of the Hornets

 

CHICAGO – In what experts are calling either a historic auction or a temporary lapse in judgment, a signed 1986 Fleer Michael Jordan rookie card has sold for $2.5 million—after exactly one bid.

The lucky (or financially reckless) bidder, who remains anonymous but reportedly goes by the username “MJGOAT420,” claimed they placed the bid “as a joke but then figured, hey, you only YOLO once.”

The card, graded 9.5 Gem Mint, includes Jordan’s signature and a faint whiff of 1980s greatness. According to auction officials, the card’s value was increased by:

• Michael Jordan’s signature

• A microscopic piece of hardwood DNA scraped from a 1987 Bulls court

• The tears of every Knicks fan from the '90s

“I just wanted something rare and meaningful,” the buyer said. “And let’s be honest, this card is still cheaper than two courtside seats to a Lakers game.”

A Deal Fit for a GOAT

“People collect all kinds of stuff—cars, art, Beanie Babies,” said Dr. Lynn Mint, a collectibles economist. “But this? This is cardboard covered in ink. Very expensive, legendary ink.”

When asked what they plan to do with the card, the buyer replied, “I’m going to mount it next to my LeBron rookie... in the bathroom. Gotta remind myself greatness starts with focus.”

Jordan Responds

When reached for comment, Michael Jordan himself shrugged, chuckled, and said, “Wish I’d kept a few more of those cards. I could’ve bought another NBA team by now.”

Sources close to the NBA legend say he’s now considering signing napkins from his Steakhouse and labeling them “Rookie Meals” for a quick $300,000 each.