The Short Print

In a shocking turn of events, the sports card industry has officially declared that literally every card ever made is “rare,” with even the most common base cards now fetching exorbitant prices. 2025 has seen an unprecedented bust in the market, this change was seen as a way to save the hobby. Currently enthusiasts are scrambling to secure their limited-edition, common-as-dirt cards from the 1987 Topps set, once valued at mere pennies, now being sold for up to $500,000 on eBay. “We realized we’ve been undervaluing the essence of rarity all these years,” said Lance “Card Shark” Thompson, a self-proclaimed card expert and part-time magician. “I mean, how do you know a card is rare? It's all about how many people think it's rare. I’ve got a stack of 1991 Fleer basketball cards, and let me tell you, they are definitely rare now. They’re practically unicorns.” Industry leaders are echoing this sentiment. “The definition of ‘rare’ has evolved,” explained Tiffany Goodwin, CEO of Sh...

  In a stunning revelation that has shaken the very foundations of the sports memorabilia world, thousands of collectors are demanding refunds from Fanatics and Topps after discovering that the much-coveted MLB jersey swatches in their memorabilia cards are nothing more than torn napkins hastily glued onto cardboard. The scandal, dubbed "NapkinGate" by disgruntled collectors, came to light when superfan and self-proclaimed "Jersey Junkie" Randy Thompson excitedly opened his new pack of cards, only to find what appeared to be a crumpled Chipotle napkin masquerading as a piece of game-worn memorabilia. "I thought I hit the jackpot with this Clayton Kershaw jersey swatch," lamented Thompson. "But upon closer inspection, I realized it was just a greasy napkin with 'Extra Guac, Please' written on the corner. I feel betrayed." As collectors across the nation inspected their prized memorabilia cards with newfound skepticism, reports flooded in...